literarystarbucks:

Horatio goes up to the counter with two buddies of his. They all want to split a venti white chocolate mocha, and decide amongst themselves that since Horatio is the only one who went to college, he should do the actual ordering. Horatio orders. When he turns back around, everyone else in the Starbucks is dead.

(via spookyflamesonthesidesofmyface)

theonion:

Man Coasting Through Life Entirely On Benefit Of Doubt

i'm mike. i love seinfeld and other things